Sunday, August 17, 2014

TARGET LIST REVEALED


Despite rumors that there are priests on a target list which is just a sad attempt to create more chaos, I just wanted to reveal the real Target who is at the root of the issues we are facing.
Continue to Pray for our Church and ALL our Priests.


Thursday, August 14, 2014

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says...

2475 Christ's disciples have "put on the new man, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."274 By "putting away falsehood," they are to "put away all malice and all guile and insincerity and envy and all slander."275
2476 False witness and perjury. When it is made publicly, a statement contrary to the truth takes on a particular gravity. In court it becomes false witness.276 When it is under oath, it is perjury. Acts such as these contribute to condemnation of the innocent, exoneration of the guilty, or the increased punishment of the accused.277 They gravely compromise the exercise of justice and the fairness of judicial decisions.
2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury.278 He becomes guilty:
- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;
- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them;279
- of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor's thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another's statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.280

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

4 Popes and counting

POPE PAUL IV

"How much joy and how much hope we have with your presence and your activity! ... For this purpose, that, for you, is a conscious and authentic way of living the Christian vocation, translates into one effective witness for others: do apostolate because you are what you are!... To Live and promote this awakening is considered by you as a form of "after baptism", which may be renewed in the Christian communities today the effects of maturity and deepening which were done in the period of preparation for baptism in the early Church. You do it then. Before or after I would say, is secondary. It is important that you seek authenticity, the fullness, the consistency, the sincerity of the Christian life. And this has a huge merit, I repeat, that it comforts us enormously..."

SAINT JOHN PAUL II (POPE)
"By now I know well that there are two elements which characterize your charisma. The first is an enthusiasm for the faith. An enthusiasm for the faith rediscovered. .... Then, the second thing which I think is part of your charisma is radical conversion. ... you are very necessary in today's Church, in today's world. "


POPE BENEDICT XVI (EMERITUS) 
The Church has recognized in the Way a special gift which the Holy Spirit has given to our times and the approval of the Statues and of the “Catechetical Directory” are a sign of it...the Church thanks you; she needs you for the New Evangelization."

POPE FRANCIS
"I thank the Lord for the joy of your faith and for the passion of your Christian witness...Be messengers and witnesses of the infinite goodness and the inexhaustible mercy of the Father."


Friday, August 08, 2014

What do you see?

Two pictures taken the same day at different moments but it is well expected that if you only see through the eyes of hate, you will never see beyond the first picture. I encourage you to go beyond the hate that exists in your heart, See the Joy! 



This was published months ago on that other blog...


This is the other picture that they failed to share.

A Father speaks to his sons

In my words and as how I understand it to be...

Archbishop: Remove, the worker
Fr. Paul: Wait! I'll take him off payroll but he can still continue as a volunteer.
Archbishop: No, Remove him
Fr. Paul: No, I know what Im doing.
Archbishop: Since you wont remove him, I will have to remove you for your disobedience.

Archbishop: Im going to sign these loans but you know what you have to do, pay them back.
Msgr. James: Okay, I promise.
Archbishop: You havnt paid the loans.
Msgr. James: I know, but I was hoping that maybe you'll sell the property in Yona.
Archbishop: No, we will not sell that property, it was a gift to us.
Msgr. James: Okay then, can you sign one more loan, I promise I'll pay this back.
Archbishop: Okay.
Archbishop: Youre behind on the loans.
Msgr. James: (silence)
Archbishop: Why havnt you paid the loans? Why is the balance still high? The others have paid a higher percentage of their balance and I signed off on their loans at the same time as yours. What is wrong with this picture? Where have all the monies gone from the cemeteries? 
Msgr. James: (silence)
Archbishop: I need someone to take over and attempt to try and rectify the financial crisis of the Archdiocese and the Cathedral in the meantime Im transferring you to another Parish.
Msgr. James: (silence, but informs the jungle of the Archbishops plans, therefore being the first to go public)


Thursday, August 07, 2014

Dear Father

In your own words...

"If the Archbishop asks me to allow the Neos in the Parish, I will accept".


My words...

" I will never join the Neos"


I wonder if you have changed your mind. I did.

The Building Bridges Campaign

Sadly Im confused at the attempt to BUILD BRIDGES. I say this, and feel this way because of the recent news that there are "non-neo" diocesan priests going about telling parishioners "Dont do the Neo" or "make sure you dont join the neos". This is sad. This is biased and poor pastoral care.

Why do I say this? Despite what is happening and after all is said and done. The NCW exists only because of approval of Rome. It exists on Guam only because of the Archbishops approval decades ago to allow the NCW to begin the catechesis in the Parishes whom accepted it. The NCW would not continue if it wasnt for the approval of the Pope(s).

This is where the problem exists. That priests would dare to disapprove parishioner involvement based on their biased opinion, in any sense, not respecting the approval of church hierarchy.

 How can we begin to build bridges if this continues? 


Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Dear junglewatch, I AM NOT DIANA!


Although I am an anonymous blogger, I would like to be clear that I am not Diana. Im not sure why you even have to assume this, when this blog only exists to reveal my experiences and opinions on certain matters involving the NCW on Guam. Theres no reason to feel threatened by the existence of this blog.
I encourage comments but this is not my priority. As long as readers take the time to read my entries and believe in its sincerity then my intentions have been fulfilled.
The page views of my blog are very minimal compared to junglewatch and neocatechumenal but the numbers are of no importance to me. I wont be posting the stats that have been gathered or the ip addresses that have shown up. Come and go as you please.

Brazil has visited my blog. I will never forget.

I truly experienced the providence of God last year as I was blessed to attend the World Youth Day in Rio de Janero, Brazil. I traveled with the other pilgrims of the Neocatechumenal Way from Guam, Saipan and Hawaii. I uploaded just a few pictures for this entry because I would like to slowly share them as my blogging continues.
This was the First Parish that received us pilgrims. The parish is located in Brasilia.
A parish that we visited and then did a mission in the town streets.
The group gathering for some witnessing after the mission.

The Basilica of Aparecida.


Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Write in support of the Archbishop, Fr. Pius and the Neocatechumenal Way

Island Catholics are urged to write to the Vatican's delegate for Guam and the Oceania, Archbishop Martin Krebs, nuntius@ihug.co.nz; and Cardinal Fernando Filoni, prefect of the Congregration for the Evangelization of Peoples in the Vatican,segreteria@propagandafide.va 

Chalan Kanoa looking for AWOL Priest

“A controversial priest who was expelled from a diocese in New York is “technically” on AWOL (absence without leave) from the Diocese of Chalan Kanoa, according to Bishop Thomas Camacho. Bishop Camacho ordained Fr. Matthew Blockley in 1996. He said the priest left Saipan sometime in 2000 and never came back... The Bishop said he wrote letters to Blockley but has never heard of his whereabouts since then.

If you know of his whereabouts please ask him to give Bishop Camacho a call.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Isn't it IRONIC, Dont you think?

So Mary Lou who is a faithful contributor to the jungle and who has brought up on more than one occasion about the whole "foreigner" aspect of the NCW on Guam and how the leaders, missions, itinerants and seminarians should stop what they are doing and return to their country.

Others like Mary Lou have also shared that we have lost our identity as Guamanians, Chamorros because of the NCW. Some have also stated that, "we were fine before they came".

Well, I found it very odd for someone to be speaking like this and to be rather on the contrary. I find it sad that an individual knows more Latin than the language of the Chamorro People. One once said that if there is no language then there is no culture.

So how can one lay claim to a culture if one doesnt even know the language?

I will give here benefit of doubt and assume she isnt even of Chamorro descent.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Prayer Service! good?bad? PART 2

So I made my way down to the steps of the Cathedral Basilica to attend the Prayer Service.

Why did I go?

I was very hesitant to go because I felt it was a guise for a public protest. Indeed, as I approached there many people whom I know to have a history of being against the NCW. There was a good showing of those same people who stood outside holding signs against the NCW back when the Archdiocese celebrated its jubilee. There was only one sign that was lifted up on a truck and was parked directly in front of the Cathedral. This was the only sign of ugliness.

I showed up to join in prayer with other Catholics. I believe that Prayer should have been the response since the beginning of this whole drama. Although I disagree with the public display of this prayer service I saw beyond the environment. I had hoped that the weather would have pushed the gathering inside the Cathedral.

Where do we go from here?

We continue to pray. We continue to support the Archbishop in his decisions. We stay away from other blogs that only have one agenda and that is to rid the church of Archbishop Anthony. A non-catholic radio host said earlier this afternoon that our approach to "building bridges" must be carefully scrutinized or it may in turn cause more division, Catholic against Catholic. He went on to mention that we must respect each ones choices in how they choose to approach their Catholic Faith.

This radio host could not have summed it up any better.

good?bad?

Everything that we are experiencing is definitely GOOD. Our faith needs this. The persecution, hate, animosity, division. These are all things that can only make us stronger. As with the recent gospel on the parable of the wheat and weeds, the two were allowed to grow together. The sower could have easily uprooted the weeds but he was instructed not to. If he did so, he could have uprooted the wheat along with the weeds. Why does God allow this to happen? Why does God allow us to experience sin and suffering? This is has always been the lie of the devil. We must always remind ourselves that God promised to be with us always, to the end of time. This is what we must hold fast to.





Monday, July 28, 2014

Prayer Service! good? bad?

This is the flyer that is circulating the island encouraging the faithful to support. I would love to go but I have a great fear. This is a PROTEST hiding behind the guise of a PRAYER SERVICE.

This is on speculation but I feel there will be people showing up holding signs of protest against the Archbishop and this is not a way to BUILD BRIDGES.

I support the call to prayer but if people come with different intentions, we have a problem, and any attempt to begin the healing and continuation of our church on island will be dampened more by the ideals of a diverse people.

I hope that "biased" signposts will be discouraged at this "prayer service" and that the people are encouraged to continue to support the clergy and the church, through prayer and fasting.


Saturday, July 26, 2014

A LETTER FROM FR. JOHN WADESON

*I could not obtain a copy of the letter but I retyped it is as it appears in the Sunday, July 27, 2014 Umatuna Newspaper

TO: U Matuna Si Yu'os

Dear Editor,

I am writing to your newspaper to answer the defamatory accusation which appeared on the Blog Jungle Watch written by Tim Rohr.

Regarding it, I wish to point out:

1. I was never inquired nor condemned and that this accusation is a calumny: the investigation made into that allegation concluded that it was without foundation, and I continued to serve as Pastor in the Parish of St. Peter Claver, Asbury Park, NJ, for an additional three years, until 1995.

2. And so for nine years, until 2001, I continued with the Congregation (Society of the Divine Word) as a priest in good standing. In the year 2000, the Provincial Superior of that time, Fr. Stan Uroda SVD, wrote "We have no hesitation about assigning him to pastoral ministry in the Chicago Province. Indeed in every letter requesting faculties I expressed our confidence in Fr. Wadeson as a person and priest." In March 2013, when I was granted faculties in the Archdiocese of San Francisco, and was asked about my being named on the list of accused in the Los Angeles Archdiocese, the Provincial Superior, Fr. Thomas Ascheman SVD, wrote concerning this matter "The allegation was never substantiated, no formal accusation was ever made, and no settlement was offered or made."

3.Regarding the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, I was never incardinated there: on one ocassion, when I asked to celebrate occasionally with a group of families, I was not granted faculties for a divergence with the then Archbishop of Los Angeles Cardinal Roger Mahoney; this decision had nothing to do with the defamatory accusation above-mentioned since the name of Cardinal Mahoney was recorded in the same list.

4. I warn anyone who wishes to reiterate this false accusation that I have instructed my lawyer to proceed judicially against those who will adcance this calumny: whatever compensation may be obtained after the Court pronouncment will be devolved to help the people in need, on Guam.

Fr. John Howard Wadeson

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Archbishop Anthony removes Father John

The Archbishop has removed Father John Wadeson from public ministry because of allegations of child molestation in the Los Angeles, California area.

Father John is one of the formators at the RMS on Guam. As much as I know, all I can say is that Fr. John is a really good priest and despite the allegations, I always look forward to his presence.

Even though Fr. John was never found guilty of those accusations I commend the Archbishop for keeping the safety of the faithful as a top priority. Fr. John is basically a formator at the RMS so his public ministry was kept at minimal because of his duties at the seminary.

This is a time for us to continue to pray for our clergy on island.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Who is "Neo"?

There is constant talk about who is "neo" and who isnt. I decided to write a little bit about what I do know on this matter.

First of, I do not refer to myself as a "neo". I do walk in a community within the Neocatechumenal Way but I am as Catholic as my neighbors who do not attend church regularly. In other words, I am no different than any other person.

The same goes with our priests. They are all Diocesan Priests. With the existence of the Redemptoris Mater Seminary we now have Diocesan Priests who have a more obvious missionary role. I use the word "obvious" because all Christians have a missionary role but the priests who are formed at the RMS are specifically prepared to not only serve the Faithful of Guam but to also be at the beacon call of the Archbishop to be sent to the ends of the earth. I guess it is safe to say that a "Neo" Priest is simply a priest who received his formation from the Redemptoris Mater Seminary. It is not an official title/suffix because the Redemptoris Mater Seminary does not belong to an order such as the Capuchins, Salesians and Jesuits, it is just a Diocesan Seminary aimed at producing Priests at the service to the local Bishop.

In recent times we have began to label our parishes as "neo" and "non-neo". This though is not a healthy attitude. This begins to create a sense of labeling which then causes division. The Parish remains just a parish even if there are Neocatechumenal Communities present within the parish.

There is often talk that the NCW forces themselves onto the parish in hopes of a complete enlistment into the communities. This is not true. The first NCW community that was formed in my parish only had a few people attending for a couple of years. Nothing was rushed, no one was forced. Those who ended up joining the community did so on their accord.

Ok....enough of that....let me get back to my main point...

If we were to begin to label individuals by their affiliation to the Neocatechumenal Way, it is only fair that we understand what is the mission of the Neocatechumenal Way, which is to rediscover and or renew ones baptismal duties.

In doing this, we would have to consider most of us as "Neo's", the fact being that most of us today continue to try and live out our baptismal promises in many ways. I just choose to do it with the help of the Itinerary of the Neocatechumenal Way. Anything wrong with that?


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Lie #2 - "Everything the community uses needs to be purchased from Kiko"

This is one of the most desperate lies that I have heard. Dont get me wrong, before I began walking in a community I thought it was true.

But here is a run down of some things that I have purchased and where I made the purchase.

Item 1 - Classical Guitar purchased for $95 at Town House Music Store
Item 2 - A 15x10 ft Red Area Rug purchased for $250 at the Navy Exchange
Item 3 - Wooden Podium purchased the wood and nails at Home Depot
Item 4 - Altar Linen Covers purchased for $4.95 per yard at the Fabric Mart
Item 5 - Icon of the Blessed Mother color copied at Copy Express
Item 6 - Processional Cross purchased for $200 from Manila Religious Company

I listed these items to show that majority of the things we use in the community are not purchased directly from Kiko Arguello. Actually, none of the items are directly from him. There are European stores that sale most of the items, but this would be costly to ship to Guam.

Kiko Arguello has shared his views on the aesthetics of the Liturgy and It is my understanding that because of this, this is what influences the selection of certain items. I believe that this is a good thing, because not only are the aesthetics in-line with the Liturgical Practices of the Catholic Church but also that it provides a consistency that we lack in most churches today. This assures me that wherever I may attend a Celebration within the NCW, the environment or the Liturgical set up will be the same.


Eucharist

Every Saturday evening my community gathers for the Celebration of the Eucharist. In that the regular Sunday Liturgy is used, this celebration therefore fulfills the Sunday obligation.

A group of the community met earlier in the week to prepare for this Eucharist. They gathered to review the readings so to prepare for their monitions. These "monitions" are very brief "synopsis like" introductions to the readings. They help those listening to be ready and attentive to the Word of God. The group also prepares the environment of the celebration such as the flowers, linens, sacred vessels and the bread & wine.

The bread that we use for consecration is not a wafer and is not a dinner roll for that matter. Those tasked to prepare the bread are instructed to make the bread according to the regulations set forth by the church. In short, nothing is added to the flour, it is unbleached and unleavened. It is to my understanding that this form of bread is actually what is prescribed by the church. The wafers that are used at Sunday Mass are only allowed when the unleavened bread is not feasible. Regular altar wine is always used for consecration during the Eucharist.

There are certain things that are a bit different from the Regular Mass but these have been approved by the church.

1. The short monitions before the readings.
2. The Sign of Peace takes place before the Preparation rather than before the Agnus Dei(Lamb of God).
3. Both Species (Body & Blood) are distributed for Communion.
4.Those receiving communion stand in their place and the priest distributes communion to them while standing.

As soon as the Priest has ended the Eucharist and has recessed out of the assembly, the community begins the dance. Even though I dont usually participate in this dance because of my lack of rhythm(lol), I see this as a way of us showing the joy and thanksgiving that we have for the Eucharist. Its as comparable as to the times I remain kneeling after Sunday Mass to give thanks to God for allowing me to experience this heaven on earth miracle of the Mass. 

Tonights Eucharist was beautiful. The readings were a word for me in my life today. The Gospel was one of my favorite parables, the Parable of the Sower. 

Afterwards we had a little potluck of a dinner. I cant wait for the next Celebration.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Archbishop Martin Krebs

So the Apostolic Delegate/Nuncio to Guam will be visiting and I hope he really is able to experience the faith on the island. Despite all the negativity that is being pushed forward by certain individuals, I hope that Archbishop Krebs is able to see beyond those things and truly experience the beauty of the island church.

I wanted to write more about this, but Im just sick and tired of all the bashing that is going on.

Nonetheless, WELCOME TO GUAM ARCHBISHOP KREBS!


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Kiko Arguello

One of three on the Team of Initiators.

Good Read

I remember reading this last year and just wanted to share. The Archbishop did a really good job in explaining the need for the NCW in todays church. Hope you enjoy it.
*I gave the link for the full article beneath the snapshot.

http://catholicphilly.com/2013/10/think-tank/weekly-message-from-archbishop-chaput/new-forms-of-catholic-life-a-new-seminary-and-the-way/

Lie #1 - "Money, Money, Money. They(the Neo's) want your wallet."

Every now and then I would like to share some interesting things that I only came to find out the truth when I began walking in a community.

Years ago I was told, "If you ever join the Neo's, they will take away all your money."

Well, today I find myself in a community with enough money to sustain me. No one has ever forced me to surrender any amount of cash to them. Even if this should ever happen, I would be more than willing to contribute what I can to help any cause.

Every now and then the community would be asked to contribute to help pay for some expenses. If this is ever done, only the needed amount is gathered. So if the community may need to purchase wine which costs around $20 and there are 10 people in the community, then the brothers and sisters would agree to each pay $2 each for this expense. This is a good thing because it deters from having any extra money floating around.
Sometimes there is a brother or sister that cannot contribute, this is okay, the others who can, always supplement the remainder. If someone offers to foot the entire expense, this is okay too.

I've come to realize that MONEY is a very dangerous thing. It has been at the root of almost any issue that may arise. I learned to not make money dictate my life. The community has really helped me learn this concept. Not by any words that were spoken but mostly by the actions of those who have been walking in a community. I've really come to realize that GOD PROVIDES.

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Word!

Tonight I gather with my community for the Celebration of the Word. This celebration is what has really helped me in my experiences within the community.

Every week a different "word" is chosen as a theme to guide the readings. The brothers and sisters sit down a few nights before to prepare for this celebration. Specific readings throughout the bible are shared and then by the end of the night a few readings are chosen to be used at the celebration.

For me, this celebration allows the Word of God to come alive in me. The readings that are proclaimed are no longer mere stories of the bible. My life is now placed in each and every reading. I no longer sit and listen to stories and wonder how did these things happen or why but I now realize the many times I was placed in a position to act as the Father in the Story of the Prodigal Son or the times I was invited to dine with Jesus at the Last Supper or even be reminded of Gods infinite power when he allowed Elizabeth to bear a child.

The Word of God needs to be celebrated. It needs to come alive in our daily interactions with our friends, family and every person we come across. The Word of God desires more than to just be placed on the shelf in our homes. Ive been called to reveal the Word of God that has dwelt in my heart and soul for all these years.

As it says in the bible, "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us".

Community

After attending most of the catechesis I decided to continue to experience the NCW within a community. At first I thought this was a great idea. I would be surrounded by others who shared the same desire. This was awesome because I had reached a moment in my life where I was beginning to really see things clearly.

See, between my over involvement with the parish in numerous ministries, my job and my family, I was living multiple lives. I was this person here, another there and not to mention the person I took on after dark. I was lying to myself, in fact, I wasnt too sure who I was already. I saw the opportunity to be in a community that would keep me out of trouble. Haha! lol!

I laugh because I was expecting something totally contrary to Gods plan.

I soon found out that the others in my community were just as bad as I was. We were all sinners, and are still sinners to this day. I experienced a constant urge to quit or to see if it was possible to join another community elsewhere. My brothers and sisters in community were irritating me so bad. Not to mention that I was sort of the odd ball. Majority of them were in their older years, old enough to be my grandparents. The others below me, were too young to understand me. I was constantly in crisis with this.

Growing up I was always told, God has a plan. I prayed constantly for God to reveal His plan in all of this. I couldnt understand at the moment why he put me in this group. Here I was again, looking at the other. Trying to pin my problems on something exterior. All along, the problem was within me.

I have come to realize that this was not coincidence. My pride needed to be humbled. My want for control needed to be wiped away. My concept of independence needed to be re-evaluated. These were issues that I never realized until being faced with them in my community. The struggle is real even today.

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Catechesis

As I had shared in the prior post, the catechesis that I attended seemed to be mediocre. I thought I was a higher level Catholic. I had proclaimed this because I was always "in-line" with my faith. I was faithful to most of the church teachings. I even looked forward to all the extra workshops, retreats and other activities that catered to my spiritual growth.

When I arrived home that night I could not go to sleep. I was up and about thinking to myself, "Where was I?". I felt I was still in Egypt. Then I could not help but to realize the many miracles that I had experienced in my life. I had to realize that God had already opened the Red Sea for me on many occasions. These thoughts ran through my mind the whole night and I found myself longing to return to the catechesis again. It would be a few more days before the next session and those days seemed like forever.

I made it to the next session and the next one after that...I was glued to this beginner stuff.

The Invitation

I first heard about the NCW from my former pastor. Although he was very neutral with his words when discussing about the NCW, I grew a negative sense of the NCW presence on Guam. For this reason, I was always weary on anything dealing with this "group", and because of this ignorance I missed the invitation on numerous occasions.

On more than one occasion, there was a group of about nine people who would attend the Sunday Parish Mass. These people were not from the parish. They would join in the celebration and then at the end, the pastor would invite one of them to the podium to share something. Most of the time it was someone speaking about their personal struggles and about how the NCW had come into their lives at the right moment. This testimony would last a few minutes and then the group would be at the doors passing out these cards inviting the parishioners to a catechesis for adults and youth.

I always ignored these cards and these people for that matter. I would try my best to slip out through one of the side doors just to avoid having to deal with them. I was always successful.

Well, one night as I was heading home I realized that the church lights were on so I drove by slowly, I thought it was a rosary or a meeting that I had yet to hear about. With how slow I was going I realized it was the catechesis. I thought to myself, "Why dont I pull in? Whats all this secret stuff about? If it is secret, they will send me away." I had these thought because of prior conversations I had with people against the group. I had already expected them to send me away, or to atleast give me the vibe that they were hiding something. I was wrong.

I went in, took a seat at the back of the church and put up with the talk for about an hour.

I said to myself, "this is all a bunch of crap, this is beginner stuff".

They gave a general invitation for everyone to return in a few days. No one ran up to me afterwards to meet me or put in a few last words to get me to come back. I thought I wasnt gonna return too.